We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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