i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
