SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Randomize
