How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
