I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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