new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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