Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
