dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
