He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
