dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
