fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
