Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
