I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
