his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize