names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
