So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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