we're blogging at a bar
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
