"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
