u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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