I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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