My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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