Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
