I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
