I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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