Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize