M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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