Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
