Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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