Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
