Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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