Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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