we're chasing vodka with high fives
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize