I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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