I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
