these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
