That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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