Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
