I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
