I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
