My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You work out of a Hotel?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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