last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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