I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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