you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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