it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize