therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
