sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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