I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
