looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
