he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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