i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
