sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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