like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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