CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
