Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
