that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
