mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
