bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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