The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
